


Closing Wounds (Zhuiling)

by Jouvet_Trina



Series: Maybe in another time things would go different, or maybe not. [1]
Category: MDZS, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Family Bonding, Family Drama, Junior Squad, Juniors, Light Angst, M/M, Married Couple, Modern AU, Teenage Drama, mdzs modern au, no-cultivation modern au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24783973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jouvet_Trina/pseuds/Jouvet_Trina
Summary: When Lan SiZhui overheard a private conversation between his parents, he and Jin Ling realize that they might be family members. When they asked for answers, they found out the truth and discover their family history. The horrible reality that they are stuck in punch them in the face. They also get pretty drunk and broke a bunch of rules.
Relationships: Jīn Líng | Jīn Rúlán/Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Series: Maybe in another time things would go different, or maybe not. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792591
Comments: 14
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So... this is my first fanfiction and it is also the first time that I wrote something this long as 5 chapters in English. 
> 
> I don't really like the title but it's ok with the meaning of the story. I basically tried to adapt all the events and all the crap of the novel in this new AU that I'm planing, I started with a fanfic of Zhuiling bc I really shipped them when I end up reading the novel, I still do fjnjksd 
> 
> I also want to thanks to my friend that acted as my editor and helped me while I was writing this, @Ruisscaoz Ily so much <3

It was Friday, Lan SiZhui was sitting on the table waiting for his father to bring the tea. The three of them were sitting, he looked to one of his dads noticing his eye bags. When he woke up for school that morning, his dads were waiting for him for breakfast. They wait for him every day. It was early, and he knew that his dad was not a fan of waking up that early, so he attributed the tired face to his lack of sleep. Yeah, that’s the reason, it has nothing to do with the nightmares that he knew he had been having since the last week when he announced his school’s festival. 

—I have the tickets. You have to deliver them to the front door, and then you will be able to watch all the activities. You have to travel tomorrow, are you sure you have time?— Lan SiZhui wanted to play in front of his parents, this was his last festival after all, and he wanted the two of them watching him. He had practiced as crazy. 

—Mh. —Lan WangJi took both tickets and saved them in a wood box. 

Wei Wuxian looked at his son while he drunk a sorb of his tea and smiled. Lan SiZhui watched him smile and wonder what’s wrong. Not because he is smiling, he is used to it, but that day Wei Wuxian has been extremely quiet. 

—Dad, are you ok? You seem a little bit sick. 

—Are you worry I’ll not make it for your presentation?— He asked with a smile on his face, trying to hide what was wrong.— I’m fine. I didn’t sleep well. 

Lan WangJi looked at his husband with his neutral face, but after thirteen years, Lan SiZhui had learned to read his expressions. His father’s eyes looked different than usual. He was worried. 

—Are you sure? Don’t you want me to prepare you a mint tea? 

—Oh, looks at our little A-Yuan, all grown up and worried. I told you I’m fine, I’m not sick and I will be there tomorrow. I can’t believe this is your last year. You are so big. It looks like yesterday you were hugging my leg. 

—Well, it has been some years since then.— A-Yuan smiled, remembering a part of his childhood. 

—I know. _I missed them_. I’ll definitely be there tomorrow, don’t you have to practice?

—I practice enough. Jin Ling thinks that I need to clear my mind for tomorrow, so I invited him to watch a movie. 

—Jin Ling?— Lan Wangji asked. He and Wei Wuxian had talked about how his son’s eyes light up when he spoke about him. _They knew_. But as good parents, they didn’t want to hurry his kid to talk to them if he didn’t feel ready, or if he hadn’t realized yet. 

—Great. I love that boy. I’ll go out to buy some snacks. 

—Homework?— Said Lan WangJi.

—I already finished. 

—Your room?

—It’s clean. I’ll wash the dishes if that’s what you want. —Wei Wuxian looked at Lan SiZhui and thought about his bold commentary. Most of the time, his son acted like a Lan. He was almost purely Lan. However, since he came back, some times he showed him the opposite. When something was about his friends and his family, his attitude was undeniably Wei. Even if Wei Wuxian was absent for 13 years, he could still see parts of him reflected in his son.

  
  


—Looks like you really want him to come, don’t you?— Wei Wuxian said before he looked at his husband. Both knowing what was actually going on. 

—I don’t know what are you talking about. 

  
  
  


Jin Ling was sitting on the couch watching the walls and examining the living room again. He always thought that the Lan’s house was so _clean_ , and the whites tones with the blue details make it look so simple but elegant. He has no doubts why Lan SiZhui was so pure and such a good boy. His uncle has told him about the Lan Family and how its traditions built their reputation. They were known as one of the most respectable families, a family of strict artists with so many rules. He was aware of the rules, so aware that he tried to follow them while he was visiting, or when Lan WangJi was in the same room. 

Jin Ling looked at the glass door that led you to the back garden. Wei Wuxian was standing there, he never really knew much about him. He looked like a decent person though. He remembered hearing about Wei Wuxian at his house once, his uncle was speaking with him over the phone, it was two years ago. _“Wei Wuxian, how daring of you to show your face after so many years”_ his uncle sounded furious. It was pure anger, but also sadness, he could tell. Jin Ling saw his swollen red eyes the next day, and he knew that his uncle never cries when he was angry. His uncles never cry. He had never seen him cry, so when he saw him the next day, it was quite impressive. 

Jiang Cheng didn’t say anything when he asked. He just warned him to not talk much with him when he went to SiZhui’s house. He was so relieved that his uncle didn’t forbid him to visit Lan SiZhui, he would have died from boring. Their families had been in good terms for a long time. He met Lan SiZhui at a fancy party once, where the four most respectable families reunite for Bussines dinner. They didn’t let the kids involved in the matter though, so Jin Ling sat in another table with other kids from his age. Lan SiZhui and his cousin, Lan JingYi, were the only two that talked to him, every other kid was too afraid because of his family history. He couldn’t stand the whispering when he was a child, about how he didn't have parents and all the shit, he is kind of used to it now, but the two Lan boys didn’t care at all. 

Jin Ling started getting nervous, Wei Wuxian kept looking at him, it has been a while since Lan SiZhui went to the kitchen to get snacks and haven’t returned. 

—Oi, I didn’t found the pepsi cola, I think we are out of it. But I brought juice. 

—It is fine, I don’t really care. Which flavor?

—Orange. 

—Great. — Lan SiZhui sits next to him. Jin Ling noticed his hair, it was longer, and it looked so soft that he just wanted to touch it. Of course, he didn’t, that would have been so weird, so obvious, and he would probably blush, and then Lan SiZhui would have known the truth, and Jin Ling would have died from a heart attack. Their hair was longer than the normal standard though, the long hair was a symbol of greatness and honor, at least in the rich man world. Jin Ling wondered if now that Wei Wuxian had married Lan WangJi he started to let his hair grow because it seems to be much longer than the first time they met. 

Wei Wuxian looked at the scene from his spot in the back of the room, he saw his son’s hands move nervously while he was serving the juice and his nephew was looking at his son all blushed. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He sighed and went up to bother his husband. It was way more fun than looking at how these teenagers struggle with their feelings. 

Jin Ling realized Wei Wuxian left. He just thought about how he had looked at him almost every time he visits. Perhaps, he hated him. Maybe he hated his uncle, and by default he hated him. No, it wasn’t that. His eyes always looked at him trying to tell him something. He always tried to say something but regrets and end up leaving. Maybe he was thinking too much and Wei Wuxian just didn’t like him.

—Ok, what is it? You are not even watching the tv. You are just staring at the wall.— Lan SiZhui stop the movie. He was concerned, tomorrow Jin Ling had a big presentation with his archery club, and he didn’t want him to fail or being distracted. 

—It’s nothing, just some stupidity that crosses to my mind. 

—Tell me. 

—What? No, you’ll be mad. 

—I’m going to get mad if you don’t tell me. 

Jin Ling sigh. He knew Lan SiZhui, he wouldn’t get mad. 

—It’s just… I think your dad hates me. 

—What? No- He just has a straight face, but he doesn’t hate you. And he is definitely not straight. 

—Not Hanguang-Jun. Your other dad. —Lan SiZhui looked at him confused. 

—Now you are just saying nonsense. He loves you. He is always saying how much a good friend you are. He went out to buy snacks today. He brought you lotus seeds because last time you came you asked for it and we didn’t have. 

Jin Ling was shocked, he didn’t think that other people’s parents were worried about his son’s friends and what they liked. _I guess that’s how a parent worries._ He thought. He wasn’t trying to devaluate his uncles’ parenting. But with one in jail and the other directing _Lotus Magazine_ , well, Jiang Cheng had limited time for caring for those things, which didn’t mean that he didn’t care.

—Now, can you please stop thinking nonsense and watch the last hour of the movie.— Jin Ling felt how Lan SiZhui arm passes through his back and led his head to his neck. Jin Ling’s body was laying upon Lan SiZhui’s body. His heart pumps so hard that he thought that it might get out of his chest, but he didn’t resist. Sometimes SiZhui did that kind of thing. He had done it when Jin Ling had been stressed. He used to hold him like this. It felt warm.

  
  
  


—Do you think we should wake them up? —Wei Wuxian spoke closed to his husband's ears, his voice was soft and made him bristling. —Look at them, like little bunnies. I’m going to take a picture, I would never forgive myself if I don’t take a picture. 

—Mh. —Lan WangJi looked at him and agreed. He took the cups and bowls from the tea-table while his husband took the pictures. 

Lan SiZhui was an extremely light sleeper and was already awake when his dad saved his phone. 

—Fuck, what time it is? 

—Language. —Lan WangJi scolds him. 

—Sorry, dad. 

—It's almost nine. 

—Jin Ling, wake up, your uncle is going to be mad. 

Jin Ling’s face was sleepy. Then he realized that he had fall sleep. He had fall sleep on top Lan SiZhui. _Lord_. He stands up quickly and watches the two grown-up look at him. Probably thinking of killing him for not sitting correctly, or maybe they thought that he was promiscuous. The truth was that Wei Wuxian and Lan WangJi couldn’t care less, they went upstairs and let them alone one more time. 

—Oh my god, my uncle is so gonna kill me. I’ll better leave now. —His house wasn’t really far away. He could walk and be there in thirty minutes. 

—You won’t go anywhere like that. I’ll give you a jacket, it’s freaking cold outside. 

—What? No, I’m fine. No need, really. 

—Shut up. You have your club presentation tomorrow, and you don’t want to be sick, do you?

Jin Ling said nothing. Lan SiZhui went to his room and took one of his jackets. But just when he was about to leave, he heard his parent conversation. They were talking about Jin Ling in the studio next to him. 

_“Jin Ling is all grown up. He looks so much like Jiang Cheng. No doubts he had Jiang’s DNA.”_

_“Tomorrow is the school’s festival.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Jiang Cheng is going to be there.”_

_“I also know that.”_

_“I don’t like him.”_

_“Stop blaming him. You can’t undo the past. He has all the right to be mad at me.”_

_“He hurts you. And your nightmares...”_

_“And I hurt him. Lan Zhan, I lost thirteen school’s festivals because I was too scared to come back. Jiang Cheng is not going to stop me from watching my son’s last performance at school.”_

_“Mmh…”_

_“Come on, after tomorrow everything will be as always. Also, I need to watch my nephew doing archery and see if he is really that good as A-Yuan described, he has Jin and Jiang blood after all. And, we have a trip tomorrow night and a performance on Sunday, our son will take care of our home, and you and I will be alone in the Hotel. Don’t you want to expend time alone with me, Lan er gege?”_

Lan SiZhui has never felt dizzier. He broke one of his family rules by hiding and listening to a private conversation. He heard enough. He had no idea what happened before he was born. He heard stories from his cousins, some rumors at the family reunions. He knew that before being four families, they were five. But, the Wen family were involved in shady deals. He also knew that before being a Lan, he was a Wen. His father has told him when Wei Wuxian came back and started living with them. He had been legally adopted by Hanguang-Jun when he was four, and before that, Wei Wuxian had been his foster father for two years. However, he had absolutely no idea of why his father left. He had zero knowledge of what actually happened regarding his parent’s past. And now he just heard his dad calling Jin Ling his nephew, was he?

Lan SiZhui saw Jin Ling waiting for him sitting on the porch. It was freaking cold outside, and he was just sitting there like that cold wind wouldn’t affect him. For some reason, watching him smile when he arrives has warmed him from the inside. 

—Are you ok? You look pale. 

—I just heard a conversation between my parents. 

—So? 

—I was hidden. 

—Oh… you broke a rule. Well, I guess you deserved a punishment then. 

—Yes. I know. I’ll have one. I’ll give myself one. 

—Hey. You don’t have to give you one. They don’t know you were listening and I won’t say anything. 

—That’s not how it works. 

—Well, I can punish you if you’ll like. 

Lan SiZhui looked at him a little bit incredulous, his ears were red and Jin Ling saw the surprised in his eyes. That sounded way more provocative than it was meant to and make Jin Ling and Lan SiZhui blush. 

—...or not. I was joking. 

—You know what? Yes, think about one that not involves me doing more hands stand and I’ll take it. Tell me tomorrow. And please go safe. And call me when you get home. 

Jing Ling smiled at him. He was always getting worried when someone didn’t let him know they were safe. 

—I’ll send you a text. 

—No. You call me. 

—Fine. Good night, A-Yuan. 

—Good night, A-Ling. 

  
  
  


Jin Ling opened the door of his house waiting for not being discovered by his uncle. However, he has always had bad luck in that matter.

—So you remembered you have a house, don’t you?— Jiang Cheng looked angry, but to be fair he usually looked the same. 

—We fall asleep. I didn’t mean to, but is not even ten so what’s the matter? 

—The matter is that you call. If you fall asleep you call, you answer your phone when I call you, or you ask and I’ll go pick you.— Jin Ling thought that his uncle wouldn’t go pick him, just because was Wei Wuxian’s house. He hasn’t even looked at his phone yet, of course, he had missed calls from his uncle. Suddenly he felt guilty for worrying him, but he wouldn’t recognize it. 

—It is not even ten! Why would I call, the train keeps working! 

—It doesn’t matter! You call! And you don’t pass to buy at the store! You even had time for that!— His uncle was pointing the snack of lotus seed he was holding. Before he went upstairs, Wei Wuxian had given him the snacks for his way back home. 

—I didn’t buy this! Wei Wuxian gave it to me before leaving.— Instantly, Jin Ling felt that he did wrong by telling him this. Jiang Cheng’s face was warp, a glimpse of a surprise it looked in his eyes, and then it was hidden by his scolds. 

—Go to your room. You need to rest for tomorrow. 

—He is going to be there, you know? And I don’t care what kind of shady past you two share but I don’t want you to do a scene. His son really want him there.— His uncle’s eyes nailed with incredulity. The truth is that even if Wei Wuxian never raised Jin Ling, even Jiang Cheng could see a tiny pinch of him in his attitude, or maybe it was his sister, he couldn’t tell for sure. 

—Tsk, why is he going? He hasn’t gone to any event these two last years. 

—Who do you think the fault is? It is his son’s last performance, and A-Yuan has worked really hard for this, and he wants both of his parents there. 

—A-Yuan?— Jiang Cheng knew that the Lan kid was a very close friend with his nephew, he didn’t imagen _how much_. 

—I mean, Lan SiZhui. Just, don’t make a scene.

—When did you get this dared?! That’s how you talk to your uncle?! Go to your room before I break your legs!— Jiang Cheng scolded him. He hated teenagers. Jin Ling was easy to manage when he was a child. He would never have the audacity of talking to him like this. He would never answer his scolds, and even if he did, it wouldn’t be like this. If before he replied two times with short sentences, now he could reply ten. It gave Jiang Cheng a headache. 

Jin Ling was lying in his bed, his dog was already sleeping on the floor. He took his phone and marked SiZhui’s number. A part of him told him not to call because it was past nine and the Lan Family had strict sleeping hours. _He is probably sleeping_. Jin Ling though, but a voice at the other line told him the opposite. 

—What took you so long? Your uncle was that mad? 

—He was worried because I didn’t answer his calls. It’s fine, he is always angry and worried, it is just his mood. Why are you up so late anyway? Aren’t you breaking another family rule? _Maybe I should pick two punishments, then_. 

For a reason that he unknown his voice was slow and rough, and leaves a tiny contrast with the soft and dared sound at the other side of the line. 

— _Maybe you should_. 

None of them said anything for a while. It was a pretty obvious insinuation that only occurred when they spoke at night. They just heard each other’s breathing. Jin Ling felt a weight in his chest, it was like he had to scream so loud for feeling better. Instead, he just sat in his bed, feeling the jacket’s sleeve. The jacket smelled like SiZhui. The smell drowned Jin Ling’s lungs and made him drowned in his own desires. 

—What happened before? When I was leaving. Are you sure it has nothing to do with the sudden conversation you heard or is just nervous about tomorrow? 

There was a silence, and then a sigh. 

—I think is for both. My dad had been having nightmares since I told him about the festival, and how all parents were invited. I think he is afraid of meeting your uncle. 

Jin Ling’s expression changed, Lan SiZhui realized because his breathing also changed. 

—Jin Ling, do you know anything about them? Do you know anything about your uncle’s past? 

Jin Ling didn’t want to say anything, it was Lan SiZhui’s dad after all. He didn’t want to worry him.

—I heard them fight over the phone once, my uncle was angrier than I ever heard him. But he cried too, he didn’t hide it, probably because he couldn’t hide it. I asked him what was wrong but he didn’t say a word. 

Obviously, Jin Ling wasn’t going to say to Lan SiZhui that his uncle told him to no talk with Wei Wuxian and stay far away from him as possible. He couldn’t do that to SiZhui, he loves his dad. 

—Why are you telling me all of this? What did you hear? 

—Jin Ling, I think my dad and your uncle are family members. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed it, if you did let me know in the comments
> 
> And pls let me know in the comments for any grammatical mistakes or miswritten words, I love receiving feedback <3
> 
> If someone is wondering, the Lotus Magazine is a fashion magazine, it occurred to me bc when I saw the clothes of the Jiang Sect at the drama, they were stunning, for me they had they pretty robes (also modern Jiang Cheng remembered me to Miranda Priestly jakhdkas) 
> 
> (I have to say that the fanfic is already finished but I will be publishing the next chapters when I end up editing them)
> 
> (there will be a translation in Spanish too, but if you wanted to read that you will have to wait until this one is already finished)
> 
> that's all, pls stay safe and respect the quarantine


	2. Chapter 2

It was Saturday morning, the festival would last four to five hours and Lan SiZhui was pretty nervous, he hasn’t see Jin Ling. When they spoke last night both agreed in not saying anything about it and wait until the right moment to ask. Lan SiZhui barely slept and this was his final performance, _ what if I screw up? I can’t do that, my dads are going to be here!  _ He thought. His palms were sweaty, now he understands why his dad always inculcated him good manners and now he knows how listening behind a wall was absolutely improper, it made him feel disrespectful. He felt dizzy, again. 

All clubs had a designated room for the rehearsals (except for sports clubs), in the music club just the students who wanted to participate and senior students were able to present in the festival. Thus, in the room were just three of them, everybody focuses on his instruments. The white Guqin in front of him was whispering to not fuck it up; it was the family guqin after all. His father gave it to him when he was eighteen. No one in his family would stand or accept such a dishonor as failing, or detune. 

He wanted to scream. Suddenly, someone touched his shoulder and he startled. JingYi was there, smiling at him.

—Dude, are you right? You look like a ghost. 

—I didn’t sleep well, that’s all. 

_ I sound like my dad. _ He thought. 

—Really? It has nothing to do with the fact that Jin Ling has the same death face and is looking for you? 

—Is he looking for me? 

—Here we go. —JingYi waited for the rambling.

—I mean... maybe we were talking for the phone last night, and I might get sleep past nine… or past ten. 

JingYi looked at him, knowing the truth, and being done with the whole situation. 

—Past ten?

—Fine, almost twelve. But it was for a good reason. Have you seen my parents? 

—They are waiting for your show. Wei Wuxian looks like he is really enjoying the food. 

—Just kill me already.—SiZhui covered his face with his hands and gasped, he was truly nervous. 

—Hey, I organized a party at night. You are not allowed to miss it. 

—What? Why? 

—’Cause is at your place. 

—What?! Are you out of your mind? My parents are not going to be home tonight! They have a show outside town, tomorrow. 

—I know, that’s why I said your place. 

—Well, unsaid it. 

—Sorry, I already expend the invitations. Come on, you need to have a good party before ending this year. 

Lan SiZhui was about to kill him, he almost did, if it wasn’t for the teacher that came looking for him. It was his turn. 

  
  
  
  
  


Wei Wuxian was feeling like a kid. A part of him was really anxious about his son’s performance. He has heard his son with the guqin before and he knew he was just stunning, just like Lan Zhan. He wasn't worried about that, and his husband’s hand was holding his strongly. He almost forgot his nightmares,  _ almost _ . 

Lan Zhan was looking for their sits in the crow. Apparently, parents were able to be closest to the main stage. They sit, he received various incredulous looks from other parents that probably knew his history. He didn’t care, he was used to it, he has always been used to it. Swiftly, the lights of the little theatre went off and a sixteen years old girl shows up performing with the cello. 

Lan SiZhui was backstage, he never felt like this in other performances, but now he knew that his dad was sitting there, waiting for him. 

—Pss... SiZhui. — Jin Ling appears next to him, with a big smile on his face.

—What are you doing here? You are not allowed.— They started whispering

—I just wanna say good luck, I mean, I know you will do it great, you are great, I mean, you always play great. — He sighs— You know that I’m always going to be by your side, so just play as always, don’t be nervous.— Lan SiZhui didn’t speak for some seconds until he reacted. 

—What do you mean by don’t get nervous?! I am freaking out! My dads are sitting there, waiting for me, did you know that my father’s last performance in school went viral between the five families and now he has a successful career because of it? Did you know that my other dad receives a scholarship in freaking Paris so he could study the career of a musician? This performance is going to be on the internet. OF COURSE, I AM FREAKING OUT. 

Jin Ling didn’t know, was that the reason why Wei Wuxian left? Because he received a scholarship? Lan SiZhui’s hands were shaking. He didn’t know how to calm him, don’t until he did. It was a risky move, but it was his only option. 

—Lan Yuan —His serious tone made Lan SiZhui watch him. Jin Ling covers his neck with his hands and pulls out his necklace. 

— _ Oh my god _ , what are you doing?— He was shocked. Jin Ling necklace belongs to his father, he has never taken it out. This was the first time that Jin Ling was sawed without his necklace, his neck seems empty, naked. 

—I have felt protected by this necklace all my life, but right now you need it more than I. You are going to play beautiful because your music is beautiful, and because you are beautiful. Now go to the stage and nailed it. 

As dark magic, when the teacher called out his name, he didn’t felt nervous. He was in shock, but he felt confident. From the stage, he could saw his fathers. They were sitting pretty close to the stage, the elegant white and blue contrast with the black and red suit. They had dressed in suits for him, Lan SiZhui smiled. His heart was warm. He tried to find Jin Ling in the crow. He was with his uncle almost at the end of the room. Jin Ling raised his arms showing his thumbs, and Lan SiZhui started. 

Wei Wuxian has listened to his son playing the guqin before, but he never expected him to play  _ that song. _ Lan Zhan looked at surprised as he did. 

—Did you teach him this? 

—I did not. 

—So how does he…?

—I played a lot when he was a child. Sometimes he asked for it to go to sleep. He memorized it. 

The song, _ their song _ , was being played by his son. Wei Wuxian could feel his eyes in tears. He lost so many years, he wouldn’t miss any concert or any performance from now on, that was an oath. He was going to be there. The dark time has passed, and now the three of them were a family, and that makes his heart warm. Lan Zhan looked at his husband and then to his son, he did right. Wei Wuxian was right, they couldn’t change the past, but the present felt way much better. 

  
  
  
  
  


When the show ended up, Jin Ling had to run to his presentation. He hoped his uncle didn’t realize that he didn’t have his necklace. A part of him didn’t care for letting SiZhui keep it for a little more time. Jin Ling knew at the bottom of his heart that he has to do his presentation without his necklace; using it, he had felt protected by his parents all his life. Now, he has to prove that he was able to achieve things without them, although he had lived without them all his life.

The stadium seats were full. Jin Ling appeared on the field using his gold uniform, when Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian looked at him, both of them though the same.  _ He looks just like his father. _ His uncle was sitting on the first line, a couple of sits behind him was Lan SiZhui and Lan JingYi, and almost hidden between the rest of the people was Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian. 

Jin Ling was nervous as he has never been. The normal show was shooting as usual targets and see who has the best punctuation, 30 points; but this time, he asked for the legendary targets, the 100 points performance. Jin Ling was the last when the teacher called his name. He went to his position, around him were ten different targets. He has to shoot to all of them and have the perfect punctuation. Five were closer to him but also closer to the floor, and the other five were higher and farther. If he had perfect punctuation then his name would be by his father’s in the main hallway, and they would have been the only two students who achieved it. He took a breath in and a breath out. The whistle sound and he was ready.

It took him less than a minute. When he ended up and realized what happened the whole team was hugging him. He couldn’t believe it until he saw his uncle stand up and cheer him from his seat. He had done it. He had ambitious and perfect one-hundred points. Jin Ling cried.

Wei Wuxian was amazed, Lan Zhan was also pretty impressed. They stood up and cheered him just like all people present. Wei Wuxian was proud, he didn’t really meet his nephew, they weren’t close. However, he knew that his shijie would be so proud, and she wasn’t there so he would be proud for her. 

SiZhui ran with Jingyi to cheer Jin Ling. Lan SiZhui hugged him first, while JingYi watched how Jin Ling’s arms wrap into SiZhui’s waist, and his cousin hid his face on his neck. Lan JingYi was so done with them. He couldn’t believe that it has been almost four years since they met, and none of them has made a single move. Everybody could tell that they liked each other, everybody but them. JingYi wondered if they were aware that everybody could also tell that the necklace that decorates SiZhui’s neck was from Jin Ling because he clearly could.  _ They are so obvious. _ Lan JingYi thought. 

—You know, I kind of hoped that you failed so I didn’t have to hear you brag about this another fifty years. 

—Well, you gonna have to deal with it JingYi. Cause I fucking did it! 

—Now your name is going to be next to your father’s. 

—Yeah, I guess it is in my blood. 

—Talking about blood, isn’t that your uncle with Lan Yuan’s parents? 

The three boys looked at them. Jiang Cheng was touching  _ zidian _ , his family ring. He looked about to explode and Wei Wuxian’s face wasn’t any better. Both of them looked like going on a serious battle. Lan Zhan was trying to calm his husband by caressing his back. 

—Crap, look like your uncles are going to fight again. 

Lan SiZhui and Jin Ling looked at his friend. With the most incredulous eyes and quickly remembering what they had talked over the night. 

—Don’t tell me you didn’t know? Please tell me that I didn’t fuck up. Guys, Wei Wuxian was an adopted child in the Jiang Family. Everybody knows. 

—What are you talking about? —All signs of happiness in Jin Ling’s face had disappeared. 

—Jin Ling, I really thought that you knew. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian grew up together, they had a big fight, like, twenty years ago, people say that he became the Jiang’s misery. I have no idea if that’s true.— Lan Jingyi realized his cousin’s shock face.  _ I’m such a dumbass, they had no idea. _ He thought—Guys, I really thought you knew. 

—Are you gossip? Talking about other people’s back? Isn’t that against our rules?—Lan SiZhui tried to manage his composure. However, for much he tried, it was his father who he was talking about. He couldn’t help himself anymore.— What else are people saying?— Lan SiZhui was angry, he was upset as he has never been. You could see all the Wei essence sparks from his eyes. Lan JingYi knew he needed to said the truth, otherwise, he might die in the next five minutes, die of fright. 

—I just heard that he was involved with Wen’s shady deals. I have no idea if that’s true. 

When the three of them looked at the spot where they had been two minutes ago, none of the three adults were standing there. Jin Ling and Lan SiZhui looked at each other and started running, leaving Lan JingYi behind. He was a smart boy and didn’t follow them. It was their business. From all stupidities he had done, this was the worse. He resigns and assumed that he had to get a punishment for breaking the family rules.

  
  
  
  
  


_ —You are impossible! After all these years, after everything you had done! How daring of you to show up at Jin Ling’s performance! Are you planning to ruin this for him too?  _

Jin Ling and Lan SiZhui had found the adults inside a rehearsal classroom. It wasn’t that difficult, the building was empty, everybody was watching the sports clubs, and the screams gave them the last clue. 

— _ Well, I had a parent ticket, so I could watch every show I want. _ —Wei Wuxian’s voice sound challenging. Lan SiZhui felt like he didn’t know that person. His fathers never fight, they had always been calm and the perfect couple for his son’s eyes. 

_ —Of course, you would say that. Although, I’m not surprised.  _

_ —What does that even mean?  _

_ —You always do this. You think that you can do whatever you want, you find a legal void and you grasp from it until you end up fucking everybody’s lives. Why did you even come back? We were so much better without you.  _

_ —Shut up! Don’t you dare to tell me how I’m supposed to live my life! Every day I regret not coming back sooner. I lost thirteen years! I came back and my son almost reach my height! I lost his rehearsals, I lost his birthday parties! I lost thirteen years of being with the man I love. I already lost too much, I’m not losing anything else.  _

_ —How daring of you to talk about parenthood! Jin Ling has lived without his parents for all his life! And it is your fault! How dare you to watch his performance knowing what you did! Knowing that their parents are dead because of you!  _

Lan SiZhui and Jin Ling were standing outside the room until Jin Ling felt to the ground. Lan SiZhui’s eyes were red but Jin Ling’s face was pale, his eyes looked almost without life, he looked like a dead corpse. He was hoping for them to stop arguing, but they didn’t. 

_—Do you think I don’t know that?! Every time I looked at him, every time I looked at his eyes I see his dad! and every time he smiles I see my sister! every time he shows at home I want to hug him, I want to scream and said how sorry I am, but I never do! That would destroy him! And it looks like you also know that because you haven’t told him either._ _So don’t come here telling me I’m imprudent when you are just as a liar as I’m._

Jin Ling wasn’t able to process all of it, everything he heard makes him feel dizzy and he didn’t felt his legs anymore. 

—I think I’m going to throw up. 

Lan SiZhui didn’t want him to pass out there, everybody inside would know. He passed one of Jin Ling’s arms trough his shoulders and helped him reach the bathroom. He had no idea of his parent’s past after all, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. All this time they let them lived their lives, Jiang Cheng never told anything to Jin Ling knowing that Wei Wuxian was Lan SiZhui’s father, knowing that they were friends. Jiang Cheng was aware of the lack of friends that his nephew had, and he wasn’t able to rip that away from him. He deserved to have a happy life after all. 

Jin Ling tried to throw up. He tried so hard but he couldn’t. In his mind, there was no space for this scenario. He knew that his uncle knows who was Wei Wuxian, but never in his life he would imagine that Wei Wuxian was his uncle too. Did that made him and SiZhuis cousins?  _ No. Well, yes. But no. We don’t share blood. _ He thought, and then he threw up. How was possible than JingYi new about this but not them? was it because people always shut up about it when they enter the room? 

After Jin Ling flushed the toilet he sat on the floor of the bathroom, next SiZhui. He wasn’t aware, but SiZhui’s face didn’t look much better than Jin Ling’s. His eyes were red and he was completely pale, it was like all his blood had drained. Jin Ling saw his father’s necklace around SiZhui’s neck. It was a gold chain, and it was a family necklace too. SiZhui looked at Jin Ling and try to say sorry, but instead, he saw the directions of his eyes. 

—Oh my god, I still have your necklace. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’ll give it back. 

Before he could take it off, Jin Ling grabbed his wrist, stopping him from doing something that he wasn’t quite sure if he wanted. That necklace had been from his father, it was a gift from his mother, but now the necklace was his. Jin Ling’s emotions were all in a big fight. His necklace had been always with him, and today he proved that he could be as good without it. On the one hand, that piece of jewelry gave him more control over his emotions, which he really needed at that moment. On the other hand, asking for it and accepting it back would be drawing a line with SiZhui’s friendship. He liked Lan SiZhui, he wasn’t stupid, he even had dreams with him, he even had a dream were both were locked in a bathroom, but nothing of the actual situation was in that dream.

Jin Ling released Lan SiZhui’s wrist and stood up. He needed answers. 

—I need to talk with my uncle, text me when you get home. —Jin Ling said, he looked him in the eyes and then left, leaving Lan SiZhui lying on the floor. When Jin Ling disappeared and he heard the door being closed he finally cried. 

  
  
  
  
  


Lan SiZhui was sitting on the couch, on his way back home none of them talked, of course, his parents didn’t know that he was listing to his private fight. Lan Wanji had asked him two times if he was feeling ok. Lan Yuan said yes. He lied. 

Wei Wuxian’s smile was bright. He was genuinely proud of him. Before everything blew up and Lan SiZhui had finished his performance and went off the stage the three of them hugged. That had been the real show for some people, everybody knew that Hanguang-Jun didn’t normally show any sign of being alive, but they also knew how much he loves his family, and the soft and warm smile on his face when they hugged had been the final prove.

His dad was showing him the pictures that he took from his performance, he was hiding his pain again. He didn’t want his son to know, but he did. They arrived home and SiZhui just sat on the couch and covered himself with a blanket. 

—Ok, here is the thing. We have to fly like... in five more hours, so you have four for telling me what is going on, why you have Jin Ling necklace, and why you looked liked crying as your friend ZiZhen when he watched a romantic comedy. —His son looked him surprised, but he didn’t say anything. —Or I could just call the bad cap. 

—You should call him… you both should be here.— Lan Yuan whispered. Wei Wuxian understood and went for his husband. 

Lan Wanji and Wei Wuxian were sitting next to him. Lan Yuan felt so small, he wanted to be hugged by his parents, he wanted them to stop the pain in his chest. He wanted to forget. But as his father had said, you can’t undo the past, he had to learn how to live with it.

—Did you and Jin Ling have a fight?— He nodded. 

—Yes. Well, no. Well, I don’t really know. 

—A-Yuan, you need to talk to us if you want us to help.— Lan Wanji said, waiting patiently, but Wei Wuxian was already having a bad feeling. After a pause, Lan Yuan spoke. 

—We heard you, dad. Jin Ling and I were listening when you were fighting with Jiang WanYin.  _ We know _ . 

Wei Wuxian’s heart was about to stop beating if it wasn’t for the ring. Lan Wanji looked calm, he wasn’t surprised, a part of him always knew that this day will come. When he opened the door, Jin Ling was standing there. 

—I would like to speak with Wei Wuxian, sir.— Lan Wanji’s face still scared Jin Ling, it was like a rock, he never showed any feeling trough his expression, but he saw something that day, a pinch of something he couldn’t quite identify. Lan SiZhui heard his voice and jump a little on the couch. He wasn’t ready to saw him this quickly. However, he knew that if he was here from all places it was probably because his uncle didn’t give him the answers he wanted. 

—Jin Ling, come inside. I was just going to start talking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so in the next chapter WWX is going to start narrating the story, I will post it as soon as I can, probably tomorrow, I hope you enjoyed the update <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note to understand the narrator. 
> 
> this symbol » is used when WWX is talking about the past, so it replaces the — due is too much information that functioned better as first-person narration. 
> 
> I did my best adapting the important events of the novel to the modern world, but in this au there is no cultivation and everyone are "normal people", thus there might be details that I skipped or that weren't necessary to be explained, but I kept all the important events.

Jin Ling was sitting next Lan SiZhui, and Wei Wuxian and Lan WangJi were in front of them. Lan SiZhui was stress, he felt how his head was about to explode, Jin Ling wasn’t any better. When he asked about what had happened twenty years ago his uncle looked at him fiercely, he has told him that it was none of his business. Jin Ling screamed him, he was furious, he asked him to stop lying, that he knew about Wei Wuxian but he wanted to hear the truth. His uncle didn’t say much, as it was expected.  _ “He was responsible for your parents’ death. That’s all I can tell you”  _ He said. Jiang Cheng wasn’t forbidden to talk about the past, but Wei Wuxian’s departure left him defenseless and with a big and empty hole in his chest, an open wound that was healing at its own time.

Lan Zhan looked at the scene full of helplessness, he saw how his husband, the love of his life, was looking at Jin Ling. He thought that he knew how he was feeling, Jin Ling was the constant reminder of all his failures and all the damage that his old self has done. Wei Wuxian was feeling like the villain. 

—What do you wanna know? 

—Start from the beginning, end up at this moment. I want to know everything.— Jin Ling’s eyes were sharp, he even felt guilty for looking at the eyes of the man responsible for his mother and father’s death. He felt even more guilty because Lan SiZhui was looking at him and seeing how he was feeling about his father. He could have let it be, yet he took his hand. SiZhui’s eyes noticed the fear in his eyes, and he also noticed that Jin Ling was using his jacket. 

—Fine, but I’m warning you. It’s not a short story, and definitely not for kids. 

—Good, because we are not kids anymore. 

Wei Wuxian sigh, his past tortured him for years, one single memory left him defenseless and with the feeling of rotting inside. 

»Twenty years ago, I was part of the Jiang Family. I grew up with them, my father was Jiang Fengmian’s right hand, and when my parents died, his family took me and raised me. I was loud, boisterous, a little bit inappropriate and shameless.

—Still shameless.— Lan Zhan added. Wei Wuxian smiled, he hasn’t changed that much since then. 

»We had a big family event, the five families were there. It was to discuss political matters, we were your age and I had a fight with Wen Chao. It was an annual reunion, sometimes the families run business and sign contract after dinner, was all about politics. The Lan family is known for having famous musicians and actors, really good artists; Jiangs are known for being at the top of the fashion industry, you know the Lotus Magazine; the Nie are a military family, and the Jins are almost all economist and politicians; and well, we all knew that the Wen family were involved with shady things, mafia stuff speculations. Jiang Cheng tried to stop me but it was inevitable, I always go telling the truth, so I screw up. Next week some criminals enter our house, they forced the door and tried to rob. Madame Yu and Uncle Jiang tried to defend us, me and Jiang Cheng scape for the back door, my shijie- your mother was at a friend’s house so she was safe. When we were scaping we saw the sun tattoos in their arms, they were sent by the Wens. We went to a police station but when they arrived it was already too late, Madame Yu and Uncle Jiang died that night. 

»What happened that night was my fault. But physically nothing happened to me, so Wen Chao wasn’t satisfied. He sent his men to beat me up, your uncle was with me that day. I thought that we were going to die, I lost consciousness and woke up in an apartment. Wen Ning was a nobleman that rescue us, he took us with his sister. She was an amazing doctor, she helps us to heal, took care of us. Jiang Cheng and I came back home when we were healed, but I also started digging into some pretty seedy places. We wanted justice so badly, not only us, the four families help to destroy them. The Lan Family even suffered a fire to their house, everybody had a motive to want them dead. 

»I was responsible for screw up most of the Wen plans, and when they finally fall it was a big victory for everybody. However, the Jin Family were waiting for this, they knew that their resources lead them as the most prominent family, they were in the climb after the Wen’s fall. At the time, we found out that they were trying to eradicate all Wen’s blood. They wanted to lead and replaced them. I couldn’t let them. So I tried to protect the innocences. I couldn’t let them kill more people, the fact that you are born with a surname doesn’t mean that you are going to be as your family. In order to protect them, I need it to leave. 

»I stayed with Wen Qing and Wen Ning for a while, they were hiding and I was betraying my family. I cut my hair and started living with them, we helped some survivors, we lived in a poor neighborhood. I stayed with them for two years, in that time I met little A-Yuan, he was two when I decided to be his foster father before I could legally adopt him, although, Lan Zhan ended up doing that. 

»Moving on, Jin GuangYao, your other uncle, he wanted me out of the picture. By that time your parents had already married, of course, I didn’t attend, I wasn’t part of the family anymore. You were a week born, and Jin GuangYao took advantage of the peace that the four families were enjoying to attack us. He told your father, he did it already knowing how much he worried for his wife. So he followed some Jin’s men, he went trying to warn me, but Jin GuangYao’s men started shooting, and some Wen’s men respond. Your father was an honored man, he took me by my clothes and tried to hide. Wen Ning was watching from the distance, he thought that he wants me dead too, he thought that he was going to kill me. A bullet entered your father’s chest and he died. The bullet was from Wen Ning, from a gun that he found on the ground. He hadn’t shot a gun in his life and yet he became your father’s killer. 

»By the time everything calmed and the shooting stopped I found Wen Qing crying over her brother’s dead body. Some Jin guy watched Wen Ning and shot him after he killed Jin ZiXuan. There was nothing we could do, the police took our statement and let us go, I took A-Yuan and Wen Qing and left. We lived together for two months, in the only apartment we could afford. Wen Qing continued working as a clandestine doctor, we even had two weed plants, for medical purposes, of course. 

»But eventually, there were consequences. They wanted revenge for your father’s death, even if his killer has already died. They went to find me and Wen Qing. Somehow, the police went to our place and confiscate our plants, they had found out about Wen Qing illegal work, she did it just for our neighbors, people who couldn’t afford a medical ensure or went to a hospital. Jin GuangYao had talked with his contacts and I don’t really know what he said but suddenly all the police were looking for me. They took A-Yuan to an orphanage because it wasn’t safe for him to stay with me, they didn’t even let me see him.

»Two weeks after that, Wen Qing was on her way to her trial for her medical license, a patrol took her. I was waiting for her in the courtroom when a cop came and said that she had been shot in front of the court. It was a sniper. They had killed her anyways. And I was so afraid they could kill A-Yuan that I run home, I had a whole plan for stealing a kid from an orphanage,  _ god. _

»When I was defenseless they attack me, this time it was just the families’ heads. They want me to surrender, even if I haven’t done anything. My shijie, she heard of what was going to happen that night. She took her car and went to find me too, but Lan Zhan was faster. He appeared in my front door and bring me outside, willing to hide me. He was willing to rescue A-Yuan with me. We were just in front of the building, but everybody was already there. 

»Jiang Cheng, Lan QiRen, Lan XiChen, Nie Mingjue, and Jin GuangYao. They were waiting for me. Lan Zhan fight with them, we were all discussing in the middle of the street, until we heard a crash. I almost faint, I run with Jiang Cheng, we recognized the Jiang’s cars, they had a lotus flower as a hood ornament. It was your mother. She went to find me, and a truck had turned when it wasn’t supposed to. The ambulance came, they took her out and… she said… Well, it doesn’t matter now, I guess. But, she didn’t make it. She didn’t even reach the hospital. 

»After that, I don’t remember things quite right. I remembered that I got into a car, and I was at a very clean place, and Lan Zhan was next to me. He hid me for some days. He fed me, tried to bathe me, he took care of me when I was still in shock for my sister’s death. I don’t remember how, but they found us, my only inconvenience was that I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t move. My brain didn’t work quite well, I didn’t even remember how I get to the hospital. When I woke up I was full of needles. They let me go three days after that and no one else bother me. When I came out I found out that Lan Zhan ended up beating everybody, and with house arrest. My stupid self back then thought that he didn’t want to see me anymore, so I didn’t look for him. 

»Even if everybody desisted, I couldn’t stay. I took our savings (me and Wen Qing’s) and I left. I thought that I had no one, even if I always had someone by my side, so I bought a ticket and went to Paris. When I finished school I received scholarships from a lot of places, luckily they still wanted me there, even if it had been a while since I ended school. I attended the National Conservatory of Music and Dance, and I did my life there, it was an empty life, always thinking about what I had left behind. 

»I thought that my life was done, I would stay there playing the dizi in front of the Fountains de la Concorde feeling empty and helpless. Until one day, Nie Huaisang found me. He sat next to me. The first words that he said were  _ “Lan Zhan adopted the kid” _ . He wanted me to testify in court against Jin GuangYao. He had been the one who killed his brother, I never found out about that until he told me. During the fight were I expended most of the time almost death his brother died, nobody had told me that. And thirteen years after Nie Huaisang had all the proves he needed it to send him to jail, but he needed me. It took me a bottle of wine, several bottles of wine actually, but I get into a plane and came back. I testify and he went to jail, a sentence for life. Four years have been and here we are. 

The living room was in silence. Wei Wuxian saw how Jin Ling’s face was decomposed and his son was voiceless. His past had always been there, tormenting him, and now he spread that ugly feeling to two teenagers who didn’t deserve to feel like him. A part of him felt so relieved to finally be able to share the story, another side of him wanted to cry and melt into his husband’s arms, he wanted to feel Lan Zhan arms hugging him and never set him free. Lan Zhan stood up, knowing that they had to leave Jin Ling and Lan SiZhui alone for them to process the information. He took Wei Ying’s hand and lead him out of the room. 

Jin Ling hadn’t made a single sound during Wei Wuxian’s story, but his eyes were red and swollen, he was just sitting on the couch with a runny nose not even feeling alive anymore. He wanted to punch Wei Wuxian. He wanted to keep crying but his eyes didn’t have tears anymore. He wanted to scream until his vocal cords tore and rip. He wanted to throw up but the ugly feeling in his body didn’t even let him moved. _ I should leave.  _ He thought, but the reality was that he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay there until his cells dissolve and his body melts with the universe. 

Lan SiZhui was about to say something when Jin Ling’s voice sounded in the room. It was a laugh, a laugh that slowly became an overwhelming crying. Lan SiZhui took him from the shoulders and fastly crash him over his own body. They just lay on the couch, Jin Ling was firmly wrapped into SiZhui’s arms, and he cried and screamed, and hugged SiZhui so strong that he could felt how their bodies were melting. 

Inside the kitchen, the general picture wasn’t that different. Wei Wuxian’s arms were hugging Lan Zhan from the neck and Lan Zhan’s arms were strongly pushing Wei Wuxian’s body to his, stroking his waist. A kiss was given in Wei Wuxian’s forehead. They stayed several minutes like that, and when Jin Ling crying was heard something broke inside them. 

—Maybe we should cancel tomorrow’s concert. A-Yuan is going to need us. 

—And we should probably drive Jin Ling home, I don’t think is safe for him to go walking to his house in that state. —Wei Wuxian added. 

—A-Yuan could do it. —Lan Zhan said, trying to avoid another meeting with Jiang’s family head. 

—I’ll do it. He is not touching the car tonight, not all emotional as he is. 

When the crying stopped, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi went out of the kitchen. They gave them a big glass of water so they wouldn’t dehydrate. 

—For what it counts, I’m truly sorry Jin Ling. I really am. 

Before Jin Ling could think of what respond next, Wei Ying’s phone started to sound. He saw Jiang Cheng’s name, sigh, and answered. 

—Well, this is weird. It’s the first time you call me. 

— _ Is Jing Ling there? he left without telling me, he left his phone and I- I- _ —Something in Jiang Cheng’s voice sound broken like he has been crying. — _ Just tell me if he is with you.  _

—He is here. 

An awful silence ends up making everything even more awkward. 

_ —You told him. _

—I did. Now he knows everything. Look, we were thinking about canceling tomorrow’s concert, so we could stay. I can drive him home if you let me. 

— _ Do you know how to drive?  _

—Who is making inappropriate jokes now? 

Lan SiZhui was holding Jin Ling’s hand, he didn’t realize that until he stands up from the couch and had to pull him apart, even if he hated the empty feeling left in his hand.

—Wait! You don’t have to cancel your concert! I can take care of Jin Ling tonight. Let him stay, please. 

Lan Zhan’s eyes went to Jin Ling to his son and then his husband. Wei Ying suddenly remembered those days when Lan Zhan took care of him when he wanted to die, and smiled. 

—Did you hear that, Jiang Cheng? It’s up to you.

— _ I did. Look, if he wants he can go next week. Right now I would like to _ -

—Sir, please listen!— Lan SiZhui took everybody by surprise when he robbed his father’s phone from his own hand.— Please, Sir. Let him stay. My parents are going to be out but I promise that he will rest and if he needs anything I will give it to him _._ _I am going to take care of him_. Please, sir. 

Jin Ling’s was red, nobody was expecting that, and he couldn’t protest either. He spoke which such a strong voice, Jin Ling had never listened to him so decide to do something. The fact that Lan SiZhui was so determined to protect him made him felt warm, but the feeling of fear was bigger when he saw Lan Wangji’s eyes looking at him. He was intimidating. 

_ —Kid, let me see if I’m getting this. Do you want me to let my emotional nephew stay with you knowing that your parents are going to be out tonight?  _

Lan SiZhui’s ears went red when he heard Jiang Cheng tone, but he wasn’t going to desist. 

—Yes, sir. Please.

Jiang Cheng was so done with teenagers. 

_ —Fine, but tell him that when he comes back he will be grounded.  _

His parents didn’t mention the fact that he had acted impulsively, he already knew that. He had broken so many rules for Jin Ling lately. Lan Wangji had disappeared for two minutes and came back with the case and their instruments. He looked to Jin Ling again before went out to carry the thing to the car.

—It seems that you will be alone all weekend then. Due to these... unforeseen events, we will have to run to the airport. There is plenty of food, so… enjoy your night, but not too much.— Lan Zhan had come back when he ends up talking.

—Lan Yuan,  _ respect the house _ . 

Lan Yuan hugged his dads before leaving, he closed the door and felt how his actions had repercussions in his stomach. Now that he had been left alone with Jin Ling he felt a freaking zoo inside him. Somehow he felt confident, he still was using his necklace, which somehow made him feel bad, but he will give it back when Jin Ling left. Jin Ling stood up, he hasn’t talked since the story was over. He was calm now, feeling his sweaty palms stick to his clothes. Lan SiZhui approaches him and hugged him from the back, laying his head in his shoulder. 

—Why would you do something like that? Why did you want me to stay? 

—Because we are going to get drunk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, I hope you enjoyed it
> 
> I just wanted to say that I'm already working in the next fanfic from the series, it's WangXian with a little bit of SangCheng (although I'm not sure, I still can't decide if I love more SangCheng or XiCheng so the series will probably have both ships skjahds) and it's going to be 3 chapters long, maybe 4. It will be mostly located in the past, so everybody could enjoy the characters when they were in high school. 
> 
> Also, a friend of mine is working on the official spanish translation of this series and she will be posting the fics on her account, I'll tell you the user when she publishes the first chapter.
> 
> That's all, stay safe <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where they got drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look, a chapter

When Lan JingYi entered the house full of bags with alcohol and some snacks he erased his smile seeing those two boys who look like crap, just like they had come back from the dead. 

—What the hell happened? Are you two alright? Why you look like someone died? Should I cancel? everybody from school is coming tho. 

—It’s a long story, I’ll tell you another day. Now I have to change my clothes. 

Lan SiZhui was still using his clothes from his school presentation. He had never attended a party, and suddenly he became the hoster of one. He wanted to have a good party, JingYi was right, he needed to have a good party before ending his last year. Also, he couldn’t think in a better excuse to getting drunk with Jin Ling that grieving for their horrible family history. 

His house was quite big, they were part of the Lan Family after all, and his room wasn’t tiny. In fact, it was one of the biggest rooms in the house. He had a double bed in front of his closet, and a desk in front of the window. He also had a clean space for practicing with his guqin or the dizi, he felt like learning his dad’s instrument when he was younger, so his memory stay alive, he always had the hope of seeing him again. It was the biggest gift of his life when his father appeared with his dad at the front door four years ago. 

He wanted something like that, he yearned to feel like his fathers. He wanted a great love story, he wanted to feel so in love that he would be able to wait for someone who made him smile like Wei Wuxian when his husband kissed him on his forehead or smiles like Lan Zhan when he heard his husband said _I love you_. He just wanted to feel loved most romantically as possible. 

He stopped thinking about these things, even if he loved his parents’ love story he also knew how much they suffer, and he wasn’t quite sure if he was willing to suffer like that for someone. He opened the water in the bathroom and took a quick shower, he needed it to remove the gross cape of tears and sweat in his body. The hot water felt relaxing and gave him a little bit of peace in his whirlwind of emotions. 

Jin Ling had been left alone with JingYi. Both of them were familiarized with the house, so they order the living room and brought red glasses from the kitchen (Wei Wuxian was a peaceful person now, but he was known as a party person back then). 

—So what happened? I surely can tell that it has to be with your uncles. Wait, those that make you and SiZhui cousins?

—Stop saying that. They are not- We are not- Wei Wuxian is not my uncle. 

—Except for that, he is. He was legally adopted by your grandparents, with all logic that makes him your uncle. Hence, SiZhui is your cousin. 

—Stop that! Why you have to do this? This doesn’t even have to do with you. He is not my cousin- he is- you know. He is my...—

—Your what? Your friend? Is that what you want to be with him? Do you want to stay friends? 

—Of course! Our parents’ history happened almost twenty years ago. He is not my cousin, we don’t share blood. 

—Are you stupid? 

JingYi’s face was a poem. He couldn’t believe that Jin Ling had taken his pretty obvious insinuation in that way. He was about to start arguing when the ring sound. 

—I’ll go find SiZhui, is his house after all. He should be here when the party starts.

Jin Ling went upstairs. He knew exactly where SiZhui’s room was. He took a moment before knocking the door. 

—Come in! 

Lan SiZhui expected to find Lan JingYi, he was pretty sure that the environment between him and Jin Ling was still a little bit dense. He was still half-naked in front of the mirror, and his hair was messy, and he didn’t even have tied up his ribbon yet.

—Oi, people are started coming...— 

Jin Ling’s face was all red, he had problems for swallow when he saw SiZhui’s abs. However, he felt even more embarrassed when he saw him without his ribbon. His forehead looked naked. He had never watched him without his ribbon, even at school, when they had to shower, he always put his ribbon before someone could saw him. 

—It’s fine, come in. Close the door. I was just thinking about what should I wear. 

—It is not an important event, just a party. You should use any t-shirt you want. — When Jin Ling got closed to him something ran down Lan SiZhui’s spine, but he wasn’t going to show him weakness.— I like this one. It’s simple

Jin Ling had chosen a white t-shirt with a blue logo. When he gave him the t-shirt noticed that his necklace was still on SiZhui’s neck. His neck attached to his almost naked body. _God._ Lan SiZhui also noticed Jin Ling’s look, he tried to hide his embarrassment and ends up dressing, he was ready to go. 

—Wait, you are not going to tie your ribbon? 

—Fuck, I forgot. I have been way more distracted today.— Lan SiZhui took his ribbon in his hands. He received it when he was seven, he had never been seen in public without it and the only two persons that had touch it are his parents. He had watched his dad tied his father’s ribbon before, when he asked his father if it didn’t felt weird he said: _“When is your fated person nothing feels weird at all.”_ He didn’t even think about what he was about to do. —Oi, A-Ling.

—Yeah?

—Would you mind tied it up? I can’t do it. —Of course he could do it. It was a pathetic excuse. 

Jin Ling’s face was red as a gloom. He knew what the ribbon meaning was. Everybody knew. He gets nervous, so nervous that his hands started to shake.

—Sure.— He touched the ribbon, it was the softer wool that he had ever touched. He made a strong knot and turn SiZhui’s face.— How do you feel it, is too tight? 

—It’s perfect, thanks. 

  
  
  


The living room was full of people. Mostly from their generation, everybody had been so stressed that a party after their last festival sounded great. Also, everybody was a little bit curious about Lan’s houses, due to they have always been one of the most private families. JingYi was talking with Ouyang ZiZhen close to the stereo when they went to say hi. 

—Oi, I have your drinks. Two beers. 

—I was thinking… maybe some emperor’s smile? 

—SiZhui, we are not supposed to drink, and I don’t want to take you to the hospital. Take it easy.—SiZhui wanted to get drunk fast. He still had that ugly feeling inside his body, and lately, he had broken so many rules.— C'mon, give it a taste. 

Jin Ling had already drunk half of the beer, he wanted to get drunk so fast too. He wanted to forget all the horrible history, he wanted to intoxicate his body until the last thought of his background history disappeared, and the picture of SiZhui’s face where the only thing he could think about without feeling like a traitor. He saw expecting how a Lan tasted a beer for the first time. His face twisted a little and his eyes closed. 

—It’s bitter. How is it that you don’t react like this? How many times have you broken the no alcohol rule? 

—A few...But I have punished myself, don’t worry. 

Jin Ling smiled, he got closer to SiZhui’s ear and whisper: _—A-Yuan, I think this means that I have to punish you three times, eh?_ SiZhui shuddered with the sound of Jin Ling’s voice. 

—I’ll go for another one. 

While Jin Ling left, JingYi took the chance to embarrass his cousin and took him to dance with ZiZhen. The three of them were trying to dance, the Lan’s has always been really bad at it because they behaved strictly correct, and SiZhui was a musician, not a dancer. He wasn’t that drunk for moving freely, it was kind of hilarious. 

SiZhui’s felt a hand in his shoulder, he turned expecting Jin Ling, but instead, he saw his classmate, the girl that had opened the musical presentation at the festival. 

—A-Qing! I’m glad you came.— He kind of scream so his voice was heard over the music. His friend had brought him a red cup full of some liquor. He wanted to get drunk and this was the easiest way. He took it.

—I had to see this. Lan SiZhui himself doing a party. 

—It was JingYi’s idea! And I kind of need it to get drunk today. Hey, I heard your presentation, you were stunning!

—No! I mean I kind of was, but you closed and it was the right call! Everybody ended up crying. Why do want to drink tho? Isn’t again your rules? 

—It is! But I’m supposed to drink with Jin Ling, have you see him? 

—I think he was with some classmates over there. 

Jin Ling was stopped by some of his classmates. They were drinking from a big bottle of God-knows-what and want him to be next. He had already had two beers, which was fine, he had developed some resistance. Although, not that much. When he accepts to drink with one of his classmates he realized that the bottle wasn’t beer. It was an emperor’s smile. He wasn’t going to desist tho, he had accepted the challenge. The first of them in stop drinking lose. Jin Ling didn’t lose. He drank half bottle, and he was screwed. 

Before he could go back with his friends some girls get closed to congratulate him on his performance. They were pretty, drunk, and closer than he liked. It felt good to listen to people flattering him, all of the girls said that they were really impressed. They were comparing him with his dad, in the end, he was kind of a legend, along with his uncles and Lan SiZhui’s parents. _Lan SiZhui... I need to go with him_. And before he could go back he saw the unmistakable ribbon between the crowd. SiZhui was watching him, but quickly turn around and went to the backyard.

Lan SiZhui had drunk some shots with JingYi, ZiZhen, and A-Qing before he decided to go after Jin Ling. He wanted to drink with him after all, and alcohol started to have an effect on him, he could feel it. The only problem was that he wanted to feel it with him. He walked with a stupid smile in his face and an emperor’s smile stole it from his dad secret spot on the kitchen to save his alcohol reserve (a spot that wasn’t even a secret, it was at full view). 

He found Jin Ling surrounded by some girls. Really pretty girls. They were flattering him about his performance, and they were flirting with him _._ Jin Ling looked really drunk, the kind of drunk that you could notice from the distance. SiZhui was drunk but not that much, he was waiting for Jin Ling but it looked like he didn’t wait for him. _Maybe he didn’t want to drink with me after all. Why would he? I’m the son of the man that was involved with his parents’ death. He hates my dad, by consequence he hates me. The Wens were also responsible for his parents’ death. I have Wen’s blood, by consequence, he hates me more. Maybe he was being polite before, maybe he really didn’t want to stay friends._ Alcohol made SiZhui think impulsive and not logical, the first thing that he wanted to do was drag him to a room and ask for explanations because right now some chic girl was holding his arm, stroking his biceps. He was about to go for him, but he didn’t. Instead, he decided to left the room. 

Jin Ling had beautiful biceps, and he wanted to be the one who touche them, not that girl that no one knew. Abruptly he realized what was happening. He was jealous. He didn’t want to bother him so he just went to the backyard. There were a couple of people there too, some of them were kissing, others were kind of death on the ground. He just stood there, watching the sky. _Before, when he touched my ribbon, I didn’t care, it didn’t felt wrong. Does this mean that I had fell for someone who doesn’t correspond me?_

_—A-Yuan, I found you._ —Jin Ling whispered and trow a little warm breeze in his earlobe that made him go almost out of his mind. 

—You find me.— He answered. He tried to measure his own words and being calm, try to reconcile with his surname even if he was under the effects of alcohol. Although his granduncle would probably kill him if he saw him, he would probably blame Wei Wuxian too. 

—Hey, are you ok?— Jin Ling was speaking almost like those drunk people that ask you money outside a bar, if it wasn’t for his genuine concern and his soft voice. A voice that he only had for SiZhui.— I saw you before, I thought that you will come but you didn’t, so I came. Hey, are you sure you are alright? Does something bother you? Did JingYi said something? Because if he did I wanted to tell you that I don’t think in you in that way, so you have nothing to worry about.

SiZhui’s eyes looked hurt. JingYi hasn’t said anything, but he just assumed what Jin Ling was referring to. 

—So what now? What do you want to do now that you don’t see me in that way? Because we are going to have to learn to live with our families’ past! So what now?!

Last tequila’s shot had finally made effect, at the wrong time and at the wrong place. 

—Wait what are you talking about?! What did JingYi say now?  
  
—What are _you_ talking about?! You know what? It doesn’t matter.— There was a silence between both of them, they still had their wounds opened, and alcohol just made them ignored the wounds but the pain was still there. His voices sounded slow and a little bit broken— You can hate me, you know? I can’t force you to stay by my side. You can hate my dad and you can hate me, I can’t force you to do anything. 

Jin Ling was about to answer that he didn’t want to hate him, he had been about to do a lot of things that day but sadly he had always been interrupted. Lan SiZhui’s phone started to sound, it was past ten. Why the hell his dad would be calling him after his curfew? Both of them ran quickly upstairs, where the sound of the music and people dancing and screaming over the music wouldn’t be that evident. 

—It cut off. —They felt relief for a second until the phone sounded again— Oh, crap, he is calling again. What do I do? 

—You have to answer! He left us knowing our mental crap, you have to answer! 

—Ok, but please, sit right here, don’t move, and for god sake, do not speak. 

Lan SiZhui thought that he listened much better than Jin Ling trying to articulate, yet they sounded almost the same. Either way, he still tried to modulate and answer the most calmly that he could. 

—Hello? Dad? 

_—Lan SiZhui, hi. I know is past nine, I was just calling for checking and see how you doing. How is Jin Ling?_

Jin Ling was sitting on the floor, leaning against SiZhui’s bed, with the drunkest face he ever had. 

_—_ He is… fine. Already sleeping. 

_—A-Yuan, son, everything is alright? you sound… different._

Wei Wuxian could be many things, but he wasn’t stupid. At least not now. He could perfectly listen to the music behind, and his son’s voice. _God_.

—I’m fine dad. We are fine.

_—A-Yuan, lying is against the rules._ —He said with a smile in his face, he couldn’t believe it. It was chaotic, a unique situation that he never expected to live. Some flashback came to his minds and he even smiled harder. _—Look, I’m not the bad cap here. I just wanna know, are you at home? Because if your not, you call Lan JingYi to pick you up, you are not driving any car like that._

Lan SiZhui was so relieved. He knew that he will have to face a big punishment, it was only a matter of time. 

—I’m at home. Jin Ling is with me. JingYi and ZiZhen are also here. 

_—Good. I’ll shut up as long as I can. But if your father asks, I’m not going to lie. Now, please drink a lot of water, do not eat any garbage food. And don’t drink anymore, you sound already fuck up. How is Jin Ling?_

Jin Ling was lost in his emotions. The boy that he likes was talking with his dad, a man involved with his parents’ death, who was also his uncle. Everything was so messy, and everything happened in less than 24 hours. How the hell his life was so fucked up? He started feeling even dizzier. A moment ago, he was about to tell SiZhui that he could never hate him because he like him, in a romantic way. Jin Ling thought in his words but then saw his friend’s expression. SiZhui felt hurt, he had drunk so much but he could tell by the tone in his voice and his eyes that he was in pain and that the whole situation has affected him too. 

_Why, tho? Oh, right. Because Wei Wuxian is his father._ He started thinking. _And we were friends, and now we know the truth, the truth that I asked for. What did he say before? Does he think that I hate him and his dad? Do I? I don’t know. I mean, I know my uncle said it was his fault, it is more like my other uncle’s fault tho. But do I hate him for being related to the incident? Could I live my life hating him? Could I stay by SiZhui’s side while I hate his dad? Will SiZhui wanted me by his side? Does SiZhui even want me? I’m so drunk. These are all effects of alcohol. I should tell him, if he rejects me then I can play fool tomorrow, but I really need to tell him that I don’t hate him._

—Jin Ling is… holding on. I promised that I would take care of him, and I will. 

— _Good. Try not to destroy the house. And do everything that I would not. Act as Lan. Wait, that’s horrible advice. Just- don’t go so fast. Today was already too much for both of you. Now get some rest, I’ll call tomorrow._

—Thank you, dad. Really. Hey, I have to cut now. Jin Ling is having an… issue. I love you, bye.— And then he hung up. 

The truth was that Jin Ling wasn’t having an issue, it was him. Jin Ling was watching him from his spot, his sad face concerned him, maybe Wei Wuxian’s presence over the phone was making him feel uncomfortable. He felt guilty again, why all day long the only thing he could felt inside his body was that horrible guilty feeling?. He was tired of the same shit, that day had been way longer as he expected. So many things had happened in just a couple of hours. He opened the emperor’s smile jar that he was still holding. He drank from the bottle again, and sit by Jin Ling’s side. He passed him the bottle. Jin Ling drank too, he didn’t even taste it, just swallow. 

—JingYi suggested… that we are cousins. And I get mad because I don’t want to be your cousin. 

—You can hate me if that makes you feel better. 

A brief silence drowned the room, the only sounds were from the music downstairs. 

—I could never hate you SiZhui.— Jin Ling’s was feeling like burning, he had said that so serious. He was looking at him at his eyes, and he could just get lost in it. SiZhui felt his stomach contract. The atmosphere has suddenly changed, and he wasn’t quite sure if he liked it, but he didn’t know if it didn’t like it either. 

—You can hate my dad. 

—A-Yuan, I could never be able to hate the father of the boy I’m in love with. 

Jin Ling left the bottle aside and get close to SiZhui. The kid hasn’t even processed the love confession when Jin Ling’s lips touched his. He closed his eyes for a second, both did. Alcohol had made them feel as they never expected to, they might not even remember the next day. 

A shiver ran down SiZhui’s spine. He couldn’t believe it. Jin Ling’s lips were soft, and his were moving against them. They were kissing, their hearts were about to get out of their chests, and even so, SiZhui kissed Jin Ling deeply and roughly. He took Jin Ling face with one hand and with the other pull him to the floor. It was desperately, rough and intense. Jin Ling opened his mouth so SiZhui could have better access to his tong. Lan SiZhui was losing his mind, he grabbed Jin Ling’s wrists and hold him against the floor while he started dropping kisses in his jaw and slowly moving to his neck. Jin Ling got free from the grab and slowly started to move his hands under SiZhui’s shirt, touching his abs with his fingertips. Lan SiZhui shuddered, he was one inch to lose control over his mind. Both had wait for that moment, they had longed that kiss for long enough, and now was finally happening, under the effect of alcohol.

—Wait… Wait!— Lan SiZhui stepped back and broke their moment. Jin Ling’s heart stopped bombing, his brain stopped functioning, and half of his drunkenness has gone away. —I can’t do this. I’m sorry… is just that...—A brief silence extend the last syllable and then a long sigh came after.— I want to kiss you so badly… I want to do other things so badly. I want it to be soft, but I also wanted it to be roughly and desperately and never stop. I wanted us to be conscious, and I want to remember it. And I want you to remember it. If we keep doing this, I’m afraid we might regret tomorrow. 

That was his best effort to controlling himself. If Jin Ling didn’t listen to him and kiss him back again then he would lose control over himself. Hopefully, Jin Ling would react to his words and don’t try anything else. His face was still in shock, both of them were. 

—You...—Jin Ling tried to talk, his voice was low and it sounded more sober.—You didn’t have to be that rude! You scared me! I thought…! I thought…! ugh!— He covered his face with his palms.

Lan SiZhui smiled. It was probably his worst smile because alcohol sometimes does not help us look good. It was probably twisted, but he felt pure joy. 

—Come here. — When SiZhui stood up, he felt like falling again. He controlled his body so he was able to hold Jin Ling when he almost fell.—I’ll give you some water, sit here. He went to his bathroom and brought him water in a glass vase. It was the only thing he had closed so he didn’t have to go downstairs for a cup. 

—Are you giving me the water from a vase? 

—I’d washed it. Drink the water, your uncle is going to be piss tomorrow and you don’t want to face him with a hangover. 

Jin Ling drank from the vase, and then he felt a horrible feeling in his throat. He stood up again and went to the bathroom. He felt like crap. He was throwing in SiZhui’s bathroom. He had too much alcohol. Both did. Even if SiZhui tried to help him, he had smelled the emperor’s smile bottle before throwing it to the garbage can, and then he couldn’t help Jin Ling anymore. He threw up in his bathroom sink. They had died that night, and they knew both would die again tomorrow when the grown-up find out about their night. 

  
  
  


When Jin Ling woke up the next day he felt horribly sick. His head was killing him, and the light that filtered from the window reach his eyes. He tried to know what time it was, SiZhui had a clock on the wall. It was almost midday. He wanted to die so badly. At least he thought that until he saw the person in front of him. Lan SiZhui was sleeping, without his ribbon and with such an angelical face that Jin Ling felt more alive than ever. He couldn’t believe it. He had expended the night with SiZhui, and as a flashlight, he remembered last night. He had confessed to Lan SiZhui. He had also kissed Lan SiZhui. And Lan SiZhui had confessed too, corresponding his feelings. He couldn’t do but smile. 

_I can’t believe this. I confessed. And I kiss him. I KISSED HIM. And he kissed me back, did he? maybe he didn’t, what if I dreamed it? Did I dream it?! I don’t think so. I do remember his confession tho. OH MY GOD, HE CONFESSED. He said he wanted to keep kissing me, but we were too drunk. What if he said that because of the heat of the moment? What if he said that but he didn’t mean it? We were so drunk, and I know we were so drunk because my head hurt like hell, and I threw up, discussing. Wait, how do we end up sleeping in the same bed? I usually sleep in the guest room, or we put out the futon. Well, maybe isn’t the big deal, I’m pretty sure he and JingYi had sleep in the same bed too, but they are cousins it doesn’t count. Should I leave? that would be rude, I don’t want to be rude. I should call my uncle to pick me up, although I left my phone at home. What if when he wakes up he doesn’t remember what happened last night? maybe I should play the fool, saving ourselves from an awkward conversation. Damn it, I’m going to wake him up, it will be what the universe wants._

—Hey...Lan SiZhui— He touched his cheek, trying to wake him up. The Lan family is used to wake up at 5 in the morning. Lan SiZhui had broken so many rules with him. He was aware, he felt so sorry that he will receive a punishment for it.— Oi… Lan Yuan. A-Yuan?

—Mmh...—A whine that sounded kind of a moan got out of his mouth. Jin Ling couldn’t do more than blush. 

—Its past midday. You should have been awake like seven hours ago. 

—My parents aren’t at home. Let me enjoy it. —Jin Ling felt how SiZhui’s arm grab him under the blankets. He didn’t remember how they went to sleep, but they were cover and SiZhui’s face was against his neck. He felt so happy, a happiness that was incomparable with anything that he had felt before. He hugged him back and started feeling how SiZhui’s fingers caressed his back. It was like a dream, a beautiful dream from which JingYi wake him up. 

—Oi, SiZhui. We cleaned...Finally!—He stopped talking. He never expected to found them sleeping in the same bed, although SiZhui’s bed was big enough. 

—Why you always do this to me?— Lan SiZhui turned around and looked at him kind of piss.— What happened?—At the instant he turned his head, JingYi looked in shock and covered his mouth with one hand. 

—Well… ams… me and ZiZhen cleaned everything downstairs, I think somebody broke a vase tho. Everybody left already, and we thought we could prepare some lunch, but I guess I’m inviting ZiZhen out. You guys can.. I don’t know. I’m leaving now. Bye.

—What’s up with him? Wait, did he said somebody broke a vase? My father is so gonna kill me now. 

—I think that what happened to him is that you don’t have your ribbon. 

SiZhui’s face went red, he was embarrassed, now JingYi would think things that weren’t true. Jin Ling hugged him again and kiss his cheek. It was so cute when he saw him ashamed. 

—I’ll better leave now too. My uncle didn’t say an hour but I’ll bet he would be angrier the later I stay. 

—Don’t you wanna shower first? We probably smell like a seedy bar. 

  
  
  


They took a shower, so Jiang Cheng didn’t realize their hangover with the naked eye. When both were ready, Lan SiZhui rode Jin Ling home. Both were standing in front of Jin Ling’s house. 

—What do you think your uncle is going to say? He told me he will punish you. 

—Don’t be so worried about me, he always said that and never really do anything. You should worry about your parents. Look, if you just say the truth about the party then you’ll live. But, don’t say anything about the other rules ‘cause you’ll be dead. And I need you alive. 

—Do you?— Lan SiZhui was looking at him. He had felt like crap in the morning, but now, with the sunlight lighting Jin Ling’s face, he felt amazed, lucky, and happier. It was almost like all sadness and horrible feelings from yesterday were far away, just by looking at Jin Ling’s smile. 

—Of course I do. I have to properly ask you out, so you can desperately kiss me as you said you wanted too. 

Lan SiZhui smiled, he was a little bit embarrassed. They weren’t together yet, he wanted to be formal, and for that, he would have to spoke with his parents first, and Jin Ling would have to speak with his uncle. They were something tho, which means he could still do things. 

—Jin Ling.—He called.

—Yeah?— Lan SiZhui took his face with his hand and pull him closer to him. He gets closer, and when he saw that Jin Ling wasn’t resisting but closing his eyes, he kissed him. It was soft, and slowly and just the perfect kiss they could have. Without wanting, they break the kiss. Jin Ling had to go inside his house before Jiang Cheng went out and started making a drama scene, and Lan SiZhui had to go back home and prepare for their parents’ speech. 

—Call me when you get home, A-Yuan. 

—I’ll call you when I get home, A-Ling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooooo, maybe you are thinking omg that was so fast they didn't even process the information. Well, you are right, everything that happened in this chapter is influenced by the fact that they felt vulnerable, but they feel confident with the other. 
> 
> They didn't do anything they hadn't want to do before, and at the end, SiZhui even tried to behave, wait for his punishment tho xD 
> 
> Also, there is just one final chapter *cries*


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has a happy ending, I promise

Lan SiZhui was sitting in front of his parents. He felt so guilty. Even if he enjoyed the party and thanks to that now he has something with Jin Ling, the look of deception from Lan Wanji’s eyes hurt him more than he expected. He had asked him to respect the house, and he ignored his wishes by having a freaking party, getting drunk, and breaking a vase (a really expensive vase by the way).

—I’ll receive any punishment you think I deserved. 

Lan Zhan looked at his husband, Wei Wuxian had a tiny smile in his face, they knew that they would have to face this situation one day, he was still Wei Wuxian’s son after all. And he still remembered Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng’s parties, they were lucky to not have a broken window. Lan Zhan sigh, he really didn’t want to punish him, but he had to. 

—This is a list of all the rules you broke yesterday. — His dad said. Wei Wuxian slid a paper onto the table with a pen. —Let us know if we don’t acknowledge one. 

_ Alcohol is prohibited. _

_ Do not eavesdrop on private conversations. _

_ Causing noise is prohibited. _

_ Do not work after 9 PM. _

_ Do not rise after 5 AM. _

_ Do not tell lies. _

_ Morality is the priority. _

_ Make sure to act virtuously. _

_ Be strict with yourself. _

_ Maintain your own discipline. _

_ Do not create damages. _

_ Respect the filial ones. _

_ Be trustworthy and others will believe you. _

_ Earn trust. _

Lan SiZhui looked at the piece of paper and felt so ashamed. It was so many, and yet he had to write more. He had to, his honor and decency didn’t allow him to lie. He took the pen and started writing. 

_ Promiscuity is prohibited. _

_ Do not make assumptions about others. _

_ Do not be promiscuous. _

_ Do not act impulsively. _

He returned the piece of paper, he had broke 18 rules. His father didn’t say a word, he wasn’t angry, and Wei Wuxian laughed a little. He didn’t expect them to be angry at all, that would be hypocritical and he knew they weren’t like that. He had just assumed that his punishment would be horribly bad. It comforted him that JingYi had already started his punishment and that his would be probably the same.

—You will give us your phone, and you will not go out of the house, just for school. I will leave you and I will go pick you. You will not have any visitors. You will copy the rules doing handstands three times per week. You will practice meditation every morning and every night. And you will not be allowed to play the guqin. Effective immediately. 

—Wait! Dad, the guqin?! I can’t be one in mind without my music. —His father had taken the one thing he enjoyed the most, knowing how much he liked. He wanted to die. 

—You will practice the dizi, then. —Wei Wuxian said. 

Lan SiZhui knew his punishment would be bad, but he didn’t expect to be  _ that bad _ . He would kill JingYi when he saw him the next day. 

—Your phone. —Wei Wuxian asked, opening a wooden box where they usually keep important stuff, like money and bank checks. That means that his phone would be in his parents’ safe box. 

—Can I least text Jin Ling? 

Lan Wanji didn’t say anything. He just stared at him with the same cold face people always described him, but this time SiZhui couldn’t figure it out his thoughts. He didn’t want to risk more time punished, so he put his phone on the table and saw how his dad saved it, burying his hopes with it. 

  
  
  
  
  


It was almost nine when Wei Wuxian nock the door. Lan SiZhui had been meditating for one hour. He let his father get in and sit on his bed, he sat by his side. 

—A-Yuan, I always thought that you would be more Lan than your own father. I guess you are a little bit more Wei than we expected.— He laughed, Lan SiZhui couldn’t do more than smiled and rest his head in his shoulder. 

—Dad, I like someone. 

—I know. 

—He likes me too. 

—I also know that. 

There was a brief silence between them until Wei Wuxian pull out something from his pocket. 

—Here, call him. Your father is taking a bath, this would be our secret.

Lan SiZhui was so happy, he took his father’s phone and looked at the number’s tablet. He stopped smiling. 

—You don’t know his phone number, right? 

—No…

Wei Wuxian sigh. He took his own phone and did a risky move. 

—Oi, Jiang Cheng. 

_ —What do you want?  _

—Is my nephew home? Lan Yuan wants to speak with him. 

_ —Then why isn’t he calling him?  _

—He is punished. Just put Jin Ling over the phone. 

Jiang Cheng sigh. He screamed his nephew’s name. None of them were that stupid, when Jin Ling got home earlier he saw a stupid smile in his face, a smile that wasn’t erased for much scold that he gave him.

— _ Your boyfriend is on the phone. _

_ —WAIT! HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND, GET OUT OF HERE. — _ Jin Ling screamed while putting the phone in his ear.

—Yet. — SiZhui said and Jin Ling blushed.

They spoke for five minutes, just to explain Lan SiZhui and JingYi’s punishment. Turn out that Jiang Cheng has also punished Jin Ling for running out home and scaping without telling him. He had to clean all the bathrooms in his house for a month, the good news was that Lan SiZhui had also been also punished for a month, so both would be free at the same time. When the clock struck nine they said goodbye and hung up. 

  
  
  
  
  


Jiang Cheng was looking at his nephew, they were eating dinner and he couldn’t stop looking at how he has been smiling since the Lan kid’s call. He wasn’t sure, but he kind of knew what happened. For much that his nephew had tried to hide his hangover, he couldn’t trick him. Mostly because he had lived with Wei WuXian itself, he knew how a hangover looked like, he had party enough. 

—You should take your soup. It helped with the headache. 

Jin Ling looked at him with fear, he had skipped that detail for his own sake, and now he might be getting punished harder. 

—I was going to tell you. 

—Did you or did he… use protection? 

—WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!

—DON’T SCREAM AT ME! I’M YOUR UNCLE!

—YOU ARE ALSO SCREAMING!

—BUT I CAN SCREAM BECAUSE I’M YOUR UNCLE. NOW SHUT UP.

Jin Ling did shut up and looked at his soup all blush. He hasn’t even thought about that and now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Without knowing or wanting, Jiang Cheng has planted a seed that would slowly grow up. 

—I don’t know what do you want me to say. We just get drunk.

—The only thing you should tell me is why you don’t have your father’s necklace. 

Jin Ling’s face went pale. He had completely forgotten about it. He panicked.

—I...lent it to SiZhui. 

—You did what?! Do you know that your mother gift that necklace to your father when they started their relationship? Do you?

—I do. 

—Then what are you waiting for? get it back. 

  
  
  


Lan SiZhui woke up at 5 am, it has been two weeks since his punishment started, almost three. He sited straight on the floor and started his meditation. After one hour he finally took a shower and prepare for school. There were a few more weeks before he had to take the gaokao, he had been stress enough over the festival and this test was consuming almost all his energies.

Almost everyone in his family had a perfect 750 score. He shouldn’t be less, so he took every minute he had for studying with JingYi, both were consumed by their family pressure. This situation just gave him fewer minutes to expend with Jin Ling, all time he had for him at school was spoiled by his friends and classmates, and the fact that Jin Ling was still in 11th year didn’t help him to expend time together. Jin Ling knew how important this test was, so he didn’t want to bother SiZhui so much, not with all the pressure that he had. They have been seen each other on the hallways and at lunch, but they also had been keeping their feelings to themselves and the extreme desire of hugging and kissing. The biggest problem was that after school, they couldn’t communicate at all, and Jin Ling haven’t asked for his necklace back, either given back SiZhui’s jacket. 

Lan SiZhui had breakfast with his parents, Wei Wuxian was half asleep as usual, and Lan Zhan had his neutral face as usual. Things appeared to be back to normal. After breakfast, his dad went back to bed, and his father took him to school. His father let him in front of the building and wait for him to go in. It wasn’t like SiZhui was going to play hooky, but Lan Zhan remembered when he was his age, being in love with Wei Wuxian, and in fact, he had play hooky with him at his son’s age. 

JingYi was waiting for him inside the classroom, both had the same punishment because HanGuang-Jun had taken liberties to punish him too, which made SiZhui felt kind of better. Although his cousin could still use his phone and he couldn’t, even if this had been SiZhui’s first time partying but apparently JingYi had done it before, which means he broke some of the same rules more than once (but never that many in just one night). In the end, SiZhui was being hardly punished for the number of rules he broked, while JingYi was being hardly punished for not learning the lesson. The ring already sounded when he sat by his side. 

—Oi, SiZhui. I have something for you.— JingYi gave him a piece of paper.— Your boyfriend sends you a letter. 

Lan SiZhui eyes throw sparks of pure excitement, he had spoked with Jin Ling in the hallways and he had lunch with them some days, but most of the time they didn’t spend time together where they could talk about the elephant in the room. SiZhui wanted so bad to end his punishment. He even felt how his bicep had grown just for the handstands, which wasn’t that bad tho. 

—He is not my boyfriend. 

—I don’t know what you are waiting for. Just tell him already. You already took the things to the next level anyways. 

—You… how could you say that? I wouldn’t- I would never- we didn’t- Shut up. —Lan SiZhui hated JingYi, he knew that SiZhui had decency. He knew that he would never do such a thing without being properly formal, JingYi was just teasing him. He stopped thinking about his words, it was too early. SiZhui opened the letter.

_ I thought that we could expend some time together after lunch, in the sports field so we could hang out and chat, u know. (If you are not bussy, of course, I don’t want to mess up your studies, it is just an idea, if you want, at lunch). I miss you. -Jin Ling _

JingYi saw how SiZhui’s smile appeared in his face. None of them say anything, SiZhui needed it a break from his studies and so did JingYi. Otherwise, the stress would totally kill them. 

—You should ask him out. Tell him that you want to be exclusive. 

—I’ll do it. I’m just waiting for the punishment to end so I could invite him on a date, and I need to speak with my fathers first. 

—Are you serious? didn’t he just ask you for a date right now? Most importantly, didn’t your father just marry your dad without a proper talk with Lan QiRen? They get married and started living together. HanGuang-Jun does not care for formalities. You don’t care about those things when is the person that you love. 

JingYi had said the most obvious thing. He had been reasonably and gave him good advice, after all, his own parents didn’t care for the family formalities. When Wei Wuxian came back, his granduncle was furious, everybody knew he didn’t approve it, but he had accepted his father’s decision at the end because he knew that Lan Wanji would stay by Wei Wuxian no matter what. SiZhui realized what he had to do. 

  
  
  
  
  


Jin Ling was waiting for him in the grass, he was happy they could be alone. SiZhui had his lunch a little bit faster than usual and JingYi noticed, he say anything when his cousin told him that he was going to be busy, in the end, both needed a break from his studies. He was prepared to confess properly, after all, his confession at the party has been influenced by the alcohol and his hormones. 

Lan SiZhui, JingYi, and ZiZhen entered the sports field. JingYi and ZiZhen were there for playing soccer with other students (and to spy a little too). Jin Ling was lying with the eyes closed, he looked relaxed, but inside his mind, his emotion were causing him a stroke. The Lan family had always been recognized for his self-control, his slow moves, and silence presence, being able to be closed without you knowing, so when SiZhui sat and laid by Jin Ling’s side he startled a bit. 

—Did I scare you? 

—A bit.— Now that he saw SiZhui by his side he lay again, both were watching the clouds, none of them said anything else. They keep watching the sky until they started watching their reflection in the other’s eyes. 

—I missed you.— Jin Ling has said, he felt embarrassed at the beginning. He smiled at SiZhui while he went red. Today Jin Ling felt extremely confident, the boy that he likes was by his side, stroking his hand and looking at him with those beautiful eyes. Jin Ling couldn’t do but get closer, he didn’t care if people were watching them, although no one really cared. SiZhui saw his intentions, he didn’t resist, but instead, he put his hand in his cheek, get closer, and closed his eyes. They kissed again, moving their lips slow, and feeling all the butterflies running in their bellies. 

—Hey, people are watching us— Jin Ling separate from SiZhui, giving him a kiss right on his ribbon, knowing that some girls on the other side of the field were watching them. Both sit in the ground, still holding hands. 

—Y-you...— Lan SiZhui was full of happiness but also shocked for the gesture, he didn’t expect that. No one did. JingYi was completely shocked by his spot. He had his mouth and eyes open, without believing what he saw, ZiZhen just took him from the shoulder and turned him around. No one should be spying them after all.— Shameless. What if someone says something? 

—Are you kidding? you are eighteen and probably half of the school make out in your house anyways. 

SiZhui didn’t know how to confess. How do you know that is the right time?  _ You just know. There is no right time. When you know you say it.  _ His dad had told him, it made sense, his dad has confessed at the very second he realized. 

—Hey, I wanted to tell you something...— He was about to, he really was. He had the words, he had the intention and the courage, but the ball hitting Jin Ling’s face said: “not right now buddy”. 

—JingYi, I swear to god!— JingYi was running with ZiZhen in their direction. SiZhui had to pull out a tissue and make pressure on his nose. 

—Why do you think it was me?! It wasn’t me! I swear! I was… forget it. Are you fine?

—Of course not! A freaking ball hit my face! 

—I’ll take you to the nursery.— SiZhui helped Jin Ling to stand up and walked into the building. If he was lucky, no one else would be in the nursery; which he was, not even the nurse was there.

—Let me see. —SiZhui pulled out the tissue. The nosebleed had stopped. 

—I’m sorry. 

—Don’t be idiot, its not your fault. Good thing is that you didn’t break your nose. 

—So, I’m still handsome? 

—Very.— They smiled. Jin Ling had washed his face in the bathroom. Both of them were sitting on the stretcher, looking at each other eyes. This was the right time. When both were alone. 

—Jin Ling...— SiZhui started. He felt his heart speed up, with all the nerves in his system he confessed.—I like you. I like you more than I thought I could ever like anybody. I know that our family history is horrible and it destroyed us, but I just can’t imagine my life without you. You are beautiful and every time that I thought about being in love your face appears in my mind, and every time that I remember the way that we kissed it just made me go out of my mind and I want to kiss you again, I want you by my side in our family dinners, I want to kiss you behind the door, I want you to sneak out of my room after 9 p.m because I’m in love with you and I can’t help it. I want us to be exclusive, would you go out with me? 

Jin Ling was almost crying. He felt warm, he felt like his heart was going out of his chest. He couldn’t do more but hugged SiZhui, they hugged like their cells were going to melt and become one single being. Jin Ling kissed SiZhui again, they were passionate and rough, unlike before. In that precise moment, Jin Ling wanted to show SiZhui his answer, between their kiss he had said “ _ yes”  _ a bunch of times, but SiZhui shut him up opening his mouth a little bit more, letting space for their tongues to meet. They felt in heaven, the feeling of finally be with the person that they loved was everything. 

—I’m so happy.— SiZhui had said. He really was, he didn’t stop smiling all day. he couldn’t do anything but smile. 

When Lan Wanji went to pick him after class he noticed, he didn’t ask tho, he just saw how Jin Ling had kissed his son after school, in front of the main doors. And in front of everyone. He also saw how his kid didn’t resist the kiss but returned it by taking Jin Ling from the waist. Of course, Lan SiZhui didn’t know that his father had caught them. 

—A-Yuan, does he makes you happy?— He said once he started driving the car. SiZhui’s face went red.

—Yes, he does. 

—Good.— Lan Wanji said with a soft smile in his face.

  
  
  


Jin Ling was sitting in the living room, waiting for his uncle to get home. He hasn’t asked for his necklace yet, every time his uncle saw him he scold him. He wanted to get his necklace back, it was his father’s after all, but how he could ask for it without hurting SiZhui’s feelings? He saw him with his necklace, he knew that SiZhui keeps using it. While he was returning home that day, with all the happiness going out from his pores, he suddenly realized what he had to do. 

—Uncle! Welcome home, but I need you to go somewhere with me. 

—Uh?! I just arrived at work. Whatever you need it can wait until I rest a little. 

—No! It can’t! Come with me. 

Jiang Cheng was abruptly taken from his house and drag into the car. He had no idea of what his nephew was up to. 

  
  
  


Lan SiZhui was doing his handstand in the living room, while his father was playing the guqin and his dad was working on some new partiture for his class. He was tired of his punishment, in one week he would be finally free. He couldn’t wait for going out with Jin Ling. He was so tired of copying the rules, he was just so tired of his punishment.

The ring sound and for a moment SiZhui thought in going to opened the door, but he hasn’t finished copying so he desisted. Wei Wuxian instead went to see who was interrupting their family time. He couldn’t believe what he saw. In front of him was Jiang Cheng and his nephew. Lan Zhan had told him early what he saw, Wei Wuxian was impressed. And the day kept impressing him. 

—Jiang Cheng? Jin Ling? What is this?  _ a proper talk? _

—Don’t look at me. I was drag here.— 

—It is a proper talk. I want to speak with you and HanGuang-Jun. 

_ Very interesting _ . Wei Wuxian thought. 

—Please, come in. 

Jiang Cheng felt awkward. He was standing in his brother’s house, and it felt weird at the very least. The school’s festival had been their first meeting since Wei Wuxian had come back. He focused his sight on the walls, watching the family pictures. He never expected to feel a Lan house that  _ warm _ . It was pretty obvious that the pictures in the walls had been Wei Wuxian’s idea. His heart stopped for a second when he saw himself on the wall, he was with Wei Wuxian and his shijie. In one picture both were in the lake, in their family’s rest house. Wei Wuxian was sitting in his shoulders, almost falling. In the second one, they were graduating from school and his shijie was in the middle, the three of them were smiling. Jiang Cheng didn’t say anything. There were more, Nie Huasing was with them in some photos, and they even had a picture of Madame Yu and Jiang Fengmian. He just stopped watching them, it still hurt him. Instead, he focused his attention on the boy that was doing handstands in the middle of the room. That was even weirder, but kind of expected. 

When SiZhui looked up he almost fell, which would have been very catastrophic in his position. He couldn’t do more but stayed like that. Jin Ling had come to his house, _ what is he doing here? he knows I’m still punished. Wait, he came with his uncle, maybe he is doing things more formally? _ He thought while he tried not to move. 

—Jin Ling! What are you doing?— He said. Jin Ling looked at him, his eyes showed his confidence and he could almost see some sparks.

—It’s fine, A-Yuan. It’s better this way, I don’t want to hide or lie anymore.— Jin Ling answered.

—Er gege, the day you were so afraid of has come. 

Lan Zhan stood up from his spot, being as formal as he has always been. 

—Please, this way.— Lan Wanji, Wei Wuxian, Jin Ling, and Jiang Cheng walked for one of the hallways. 

—A-Yuan. Finish the rules.— His father had said softly and calmly. Although, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling still saw Lan WangJi cold and unemotional. 

Lan SiZhui knew he couldn’t do more but finished the rules. He had to, he cried in the inside. At that very precise moment, his parents were chatting with his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s uncle so their relationship would be officially formal. He was about to die. The worst part of all was that he wasn’t allow to be there. This was all Jin Ling’s work. He wasn’t even going to do that, he had planned to say something like “Hey, I’m dating Jin Ling, thank you for the support.” But Jin Ling himself has shown up in his house, following their family tradition. 

Half an hour later, Lan SiZhui had already finished copying their rules, but everybody else was still in his father’s office. He was waiting sitting on the couch. He had prepared tea and led some snacks to help him distracted. It didn’t work. 

The sound of the door being unlocked made him stand up right the way. Jin Ling and everybody appeared in the living room. His hands were sweaty, his heart was bombing so fast that it might go out of his chest. He tried to control himself, he tried to be one in mind, but he couldn’t. 

—Well? 

Jin Ling was holding something in his hand. It was his jacket. The jacket that he had borrowed him almost a month ago. He was returning it. 

—Would you mind to give me back my father’s necklace? 

SiZhui’s face broke. Does this mean that his parents had rejected him? Jin Ling hasn’t been accepted it? Maybe this was the longer their relationship could last. Maybe the Jiang family didn’t approve Jin Ling dating the son of Wei Wuxian, or someone with the Wen’s blood. His brain stop working. He accepted the jacket back and took off the necklace. He couldn’t look at Jin Ling, he just couldn’t believe was what happening. 

—Thanks— Jin Ling put on his necklace.— My mother gave this necklace to my father when they started dating officially. That’s why you couldn’t have it. 

—Mh.—He said. He couldn’t still look at him in the eyes. He couldn’t look at anybody. 

—A-Yuan. Look at me.—He still didn’t want to look up.—Please.

He did. He looked at him. Jin Ling was smiling at him. He had the brightest face he could ever have. He was holding a velvety blue box in front of him. 

—For you.— Lan SiZhui took the box and opened it. 

A beautiful silver chain necklace with a sun and a cloud was inside. It did not just look beautiful but also really expensive. SiZhui’s eyes saw how Jin Ling’s hands took the necklace in his hands and put it in his neck. It was a beautiful metaphor, Jin Ling accepted him as what he was: a Lan. But he also accepted their family history being a Wen in the past. 

—So it’s official? 

—It is.— They didn’t care that the grown-up were there. Jin Ling gave him a quick kiss on the lips and then hugged him. It was official, and SiZhui was so happy. 

—Well, it took us some time. Why don’t you stay for dinner? In the middle time enjoy the tea.— Wei Wuxian said. Jiang Cheng didn’t say anything, he was hungry and a little bit tired, and his nephew was already drinking tea with SiZhui. He sighed, didn’t look like he had more options. Although, the truth was that he could always say no if he wanted to. 

—SiZhui— His father had said.—Here. 

Lan Wanji was holding his phone and gave him back. He was broking a part of his punishment, Wei Wuxian smiled from his spot. 

—You keep grounded. 

SiZhui was happy. Jin Ling was by his side, both were together. They have done it, they have overcome their family history and started to write a new one. Their family wounds were finally closed, and it was because of them. And as long as they stayed together everything would be fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, I hope you enjoyed the story. Honestly, I never thought that I would finish it, I never finish any of my projects dbbshbfsh 
> 
> There is still the wangxian fic were I'll be telling their story as young lovers, and there will be two more works after that (a Jiang Cheng one shot and another fic with all the main couples), I hope I could finish the series jsdbfjd 
> 
> I had also started planing a new au, a Yiling Wei Sect au, that is going to be just a fanfiction, at least that's what I had planned for now. 
> 
> I guess is a goodbye for now, take care and stay safe <3

**Author's Note:**

> (This is my first fic in english, so if you notice any grammar issue please let me know so I can fix it)


End file.
